APRIL 3, 1998 GAY PEOPLE'S CHRONICLE 11
SPEAK OUT
The world is beginning to see our family values
by C. Ray Drew
Just ten years ago, the mainstream press presented us as hedonistic and deviant. Now they focus on our wanting to get married and have children. It's amazing that we've changed so much in ten years.
Last December, our community celebrated a wonderful victory for lesbian and gay parents. The state of New Jersey, in an out-of-
We can be proud that our community has re-defined the family unit as one based on love, respect and caring, rather than one based exclusively on blood relationships or legally-sanctioned marriage. We have created families, with or without children, which are to be envied by the non-gay world. We are demonstrating to the world that "love makes a family."
court settlement, changed its policy to allow Suddenly we are presented
gay and lesbian parents to adopt jointly.
The most remarkable aspect of this decision wasn't the policy change itself. Many favorable decisions in court battles have had
a larger impact on our community's parents. The most striking result of this decision was the intensity of the media's response.
Talk shows were buzzing. Editorials appeared
across the country expressing support for the decision. Newspaper articles across the nation presented the news without bias. What a wonderful victory for our community. The Christian Coalition was furious.
Yet, as executive director of the Gay and Lesbian Parents Coalition International, I often hear the sentiment, "This parenting issue doesn't affect me. I don't have kids and have no desire to have kids."
Why then, should our community embrace this issue as an important civil rights issue? Whether you have children or not, whether you wish to have children or not, this decision is important to you and our entire community.
First, religious political extremists have claimed the word family as their own, and consider themselves the protector of the "American family." They blame us for the degradation of this cherished institution. But in recent years, we have embraced the word family and taken it back from these extremists.
as desiring the same things as everyone: a home, job security, freedom from violence, getting married and having children.
Second, we can't deny that the "face" of the gay and lesbian community has changed dramatically in the last decade because of this family issue. Before, gay men were portrayed as sexually promiscuous and drugaddicted. Lesbians were depicted as angry man-haters. Our community was seen as predators of children. Just a few years ago, the mood of the mainstream press changed dramatically. Suddenly we are presented as desiring the same things that everyone desires: a home, job security, freedom from violence and discrimination, the option of serving our country in the military, getting married and having children.
This change in the mainstream media did not occur because of a sudden, divine discovery by reporters. Our image was transformed because our community's organizations and activists forced the media to examine their biases and depict our community as it truly is. While I'm proud that we, as a community,
"Serving in Silence:
A lecture on discrimination of lesbians and gays in the military."
don't necessarily accept the institutions of heterosexual bias, we recognize our common desire of basic human rights.
Third, we have to understand that the Christian Coalition, the Family Research Council and other religious political right groups do not operate on an issue-by-issue basis. Collectively, these organizations are huge, well-organized, well-funded political machines. They operate with a coordinated, national strategic plan based on propaganda campaigns.
For many years they attacked our community by depicting us as sexually deviant predators. They attacked our right to employment, housing and accommodation by drawing on this image. Initially, they were very successful, but as more people came out, family and friends of our community outnumbered the religious right's constituents.
Presently, almost 80% of the American public believes that gay men and lesbians should be treated without discrimination in housing, public accommodation and employment. Yes, the religious-political right is losing that battle. Cities, states and corporations across the country are changing laws and policies to guarantee these essential rights. So how does the religious right continue its
hateful agenda? They attack us on issues where we are most vulnerable in public opinion polls: marriage and adoption. As long as they keep us pigeonholed and labeled as deviant, they can advance their agenda. But the "face" of our community has changed! Our family values present an enormous threat to the religiouspolitical right and their future fundraising suc-
cess.
The combined budgets of the three largest national gay and lesbian political organizations total $18 million-approximately 5% of the combined budgets of the three largest religious political organizations.
As a community, we must support the work of our national organizations in fighting this battle. We must support gay and lesbian families in our own community. Even if you aren't interested in being a parent, support our families in honor of the family you have chosen.
We must embrace those in our community who are quietly, but certainly, showing the world that love makes a family.
C. Ray Drew is the executive director of the Gay and Lesbian Parents Coalition International, an organization devoted to lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgendered parents and their families.
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